MY VERY FIRST MOTHER’S DAY CELEBRATION

It’s the most special day, although it’s mother’s day every day. When I still had my mother, I always gave her something nice and my sisters and I would take her out to celebrate. That is what she enjoyed doing. Now that I’m a mother, I realize it’s not about those things.

Those little fingers have a tight grip on my heart.

I didn’t want a gift, because I already have it, it’s my little boy. My little miracle baby, that I didn’t know I needed in my life so much. I didn’t need a special lunch or dinner, I just wanted quality time with him, my baby. Being at a busy restaurant means sharing that day with distractions all around, for him and me.

That smile erases all the bad in my life

For me it was a day to take in the new role I have, the title of mother. A mother is not just one who gives birth. A mother is also a caregiver, clothes changer, cook, maid, nurse, affection giver, boo boo kisser and the list could go on and on. All I wanted to do is take all this in and I did, by just watching him play. We also took lots of photos together. The most photos I have with him are from Mother’s day, I’m usually the one taking photos of him with everyone else.

I don’t know how I could have anything but joyful emotions on such a happy day but I did. I missed my mother more than ever before. She has been gone for nine years and all though I’ve made my peace with her departure, I really missed her now. It would have been nice to share this Mother’s day with my mom, and my child. I’ve actually missed her so much since I became a mother. I missed her during my pregnancy as well but not in the same way. When I have no clue what I’m doing I wish could ask her how she handled the situation or if I did such things.

A little emotional but extremely thankful to have the role of mother to add to wife, sister, aunt, friend and artist. Let me not forget that last one, artist. Although lately this artist mother doesn’t get to complete much art. I know I could leave my baby with my husband or let him be alone in his crib but I’m choosing to enjoy every moment I can with my little one. I tell my husband every day, that this is the smallest he will ever be, and it’s true. He seems to grow so fast and his features change daily. He is so observant and curious that he is always exploring and learning something new. I know I would regret it, if I was in my studio part of the day I would miss these little and big milestones. Art will be there and I do get to it, it just doesn’t consume my life right now.

Photo Credit: Tendernest Portraits

I can’t believe that this Mother’s day has come and gone. Last year for Mother’s day I was surprising my sisters and best friends with the news that I was pregnant. Life wants to rush fast by me, I refuse to let it. I need to hit the pause button more often not just for Mother’s day.

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